11) Self Confidence – CHOICE- RESPONSIBILTY-AUTONOMY



 A Series of short introductions to Mental Health.

By Peter Thompson Dip.Couns. MNCPS (Acc.)


It is such a sad fact that in most cases of general mental health issues, a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem are temporarily lost along the way. Along with most other aspects of our usual positive behaviour.

The loss of this part of our personal strength can be a shattering blow for many as it is the one area that often tells us we’re doing ok. And keeps us from the mental health precipice. But if we lose the belief in ourselves that has possibly taken years to find a place within us, we then unlock the door to self-doubt and negativity.

 

Sometimes life seems to conspire to put all the wrong things in the right order of occurrence to weaken our belief in our own decision making. Then begins a chain reaction built around doubt and fear. This is because we don’t feel able to control anything that presents itself as a problem. So, we can become flustered. Frustrated with our thought processing. Short tempered and anxious. As well as numerous other symptoms that may be new to the individual or like so many we learn to live with this trait as part of our whole person.

 

It can be a frightening experience losing your confidence in any aspects of life but if when it occurs it robs you of your general personality in all areas of your daily life it brings with it a sense of foreboding like no other.

 

This all too easily can become a heightened state of anxiety and as I have explained before if allowed to persist the anxiety will lead to depression.

 

How do we prevent the spiral from developing?

As with all things associated with our personal Mental Health a level of self-awareness will always let us know when things are not feeling quite right.

 

The moment we begin to feel threatened by a coming situation it helps to allow the Self-Awareness to challenge. To ask why our confidence has weakened. And to run a self-scan of how we feel.

What is it about the coming event that triggers our Fight or Flight mechanism. Know yourself well enough to be aware of the effects that experiences have upon you. Should you give certain events a miss for a while until you’ve dealt with a new twist in the make-up of you are. Or can you see this one through and draw a constructive positive from it afterwards. Whether you win or lose. 

 

The three watch words I base my practice on are CHOICE, RESPONSIBILITY & AUTONOMY. When we lose our self-confidence then all goes with it. We lose our ability to make decisions for fear of being wrong. So, we don’t want the responsibility for making decisions in the first place.

 

However, in challenging this new fear a little each time we weaken its hold over us. We progress a little further each time. Until we realise that we are again taking responsibility for our choices regardless of the outcome. And from this point we draw a level of confidence from our own actions. The result of this is that our personal autonomy grows. From this solid foundation we regain what we once had but with an added awareness to prepare us for the next time.

Some can take these steps on their own. However, if help is needed it is wise to seek a fully accredited Counsellor to help navigate the journey.

 Cheers and a Happy and Healthy New Year to ALL


Pete Thompson

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