16) What is a "drink" problem

A series of "Short Introductions" to Mental Health

By Peter Thompson Dip.Couns. MNCPS(Acc)

David works in an office an hour from home. Every evening after work he will stop off about a mile from home at the Seven Stars for two pints and occasionally a third whether he's running late or not.

He looks forward to his regular evening stop off as much as he does getting home to his wife....He tells himself.

His job can be stressful at times but the hour or so with his bar friends combined with the beer seem to have a relaxing effect on him.

David will tell you that he has never had a drink problem. But cannot miss his daily stop off and risk of being breathalyzed on the short drive home.

 

 

Alison doesn't believe in weekday alcohol. The idea of drinking on a "school night" would never cross her mind.

Monday to Friday she takes the train to and from work looking every inch the high flying professional . She keeps herself looking attractive as ever and is more than capable of holding conversations with everyone from the cleaner to the Regional Accounts Manager.

However, on her way home on a Friday, and when the carriage has emptied a little she will slide the shoes off the back of her heels and comfort herself in the knowledge that it is Friday evening and there's plenty of wine and vodka in the house.

Alison's husband enjoys a drink most evenings either at home or out. But Friday and Saturday nights they both will lubricate with either a bottle of wine or a few large Vodka and Coke's before the taxi into town where their friends will all be gathering . It seems that when they both put their minds to it at the weekend there is no limit to how much is partaken and what it is. A Friday night usually ends with a late curry and the taxi home where they will remain up into the early hours continuing to reduce their personal stocks of alcoholic drinks which can now range across the board of the selection they keep in stock.

Saturday starts with the hangover and will either see a repeat performance, dinner with friends incorporating copious amounts of drink and a taxi or more from the home bar with a takeaway dinner.

Sunday will be spent recovering and making ready for the week ahead at work as the quiet Alison.

 

 

Simon knows he drinks far too much for his health. As well as knowing that this makes his young family unhappy.

He grew up in a house where alcohol was always available and even encouraged. As a child he was always given some of dad’s beer to drink and sometimes a glass of wine with dinner. By 12 when dad went to the off licence on a Saturday night Simon would be given a pack of four Babycham.

So, by 18 it was no big deal as opposed to his friends who hadn't yet been introduced to alcohol.

Simon experienced numerous high and lows throughout life and his liquid friend always seemed to be available to help. No questions asked. Always on demand. He just needed to provide the money to entertain Mr. Alcohol.

Simon could be seen as immature to his peers due to the complexity of his teenage years at home, although some would begin to see him as a liability.

By 50 Simon still couldn't admit it was a problem although his own children and siblings now disowned him, and friends were few and far between. And even they were running out of patience. Bills weren't getting paid but there was always alcohol in the house. For years in his working life he had enjoyed those liquid lunches with like minded colleagues .

Simon felt empty and lonely. He actually knew what to do but didn't believe he could do it.

 

Anita was 55 years old and had suffered from chronic shyness since childhood. It was brought about by learning to keep quiet and stay in her room whenever dad was drunk. She remembers the good times up until she was around eight when he started behaving differently towards mum and her. He would get angry and argue with mother . When little Anita begged them to stop she would be shouted at by him and told to go to bed.

There she would spend the rest of the evening sobbing and screaming as she listened to her mum and dad become more aggressive and eventually violent with each other.

By the time Anita was thirteen her father was in hospital for the second and final time battling against the effects of alcohol throughout his body. The next year she had to attend his funeral and watch her mother descend further into her own demise via alcohol. 

Now in her mid-fifties she had led a totally alcohol-free life alone without any serious relationships let alone intimacy. And the one type of person she would absolutely detest would be anyone who enjoyed drinking alcohol in any way. She had been born naturally attractive but had never accepted the compliments it brought with it. There had been countless opportunities for potentially healthy rendezvous, but her fear of the outcome always held her back.

Her life was not supposed to be like this but from the moment her parents began their downward spiral it was the life she was going to be gifted.

The mixture of her anger, guilt and fear greatly assisted her decline into loneliness and depression. But one thing was for sure. She would never drink or leave herself in a vulnerable place. At least no more vulnerable than she already is.  

 

These are not true stories, but they are the way things can go.

 

Which ones are seen as problems?.... That I leave with you to decide.

Take care

Pete

If you think you may have a problem with alcohol please never be afraid to seek specialist help