4) Can we really be "Non-Judgemental" ?

In early days of being a trainee counsellor the fundamental core conditions are learnt and recited over and over.

These conditions direct attention to important ethical responsibilities. These core principles are ….

Being trustworthy: Honouring the trust placed in the practitioner.

Autonomy: Respect for the client’s right to be self-governing.

Beneficence: A commitment to promoting the client’s wellbeing.

Non-maleficence: A commitment to avoiding harm to the client.

Justice: The fair and impartial treatment of all clients and the provision of adequate services.

Self-respect: Fostering the practitioner’s self-knowledge, integrity and care for self.

(Courtesy of BACP)

Combined with these is a requirement to meet levels of personal qualities that some would consider almost saintly. 


With these foundations we call ourselves Non-Judgemental. And offer such to clients. Also good human beings around the world be they professional therapists or not will strive to live by similar rules 

However many, be they in the profession or not, will castigate themselves at the slightest failure to live by the assumed rules of Non-Judgementalism. Merely for being taken by surprise by a random dark thought seeping into their consciousness.


Here I will example a hypothetical conversation with the neighbourhood racist who may say .."You can't tell me what to think!" And they would be quite correct. 

But this is where the explanation lies. To have a thought is purely human. To act it out or even verbalise it can be Judgemental. 

The difference is whether we engage the filter to our thoughts in order to assess their compatibility with reality or to enjoy passing judgement on another person or situation.


I ask you to now visualise yourself committing a most heinous act to a loved one. 

Now whilst this thought is in your mind the chances of you actually carrying out the act is non-existent. 

If I were to say there's a big brown bear in the room with you. Your mind's eye would see it. But it doesn't exist.

When we engage our filter then we discard thoughts we don't act upon or add any credence to .

It is a very special person who can prevent the thought. But even then they must know it's existence to prevent it. 

But it is natural for such thoughts to occur.

It is what we do with it that confirms our ability to be Non-Judgemental.

Pete Thompson MNCPS(Acc)

Contact me…

ptcounselling@yahoo.com

Or

Mobile phone 07936700238


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